


freudian slip

by slowlange



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Killua Zoldyck, Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content, Freeform - Molly, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Minor Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Zoldyck Family Mentioned, a mess, dubcon because of being under the influence of drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:47:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26926102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowlange/pseuds/slowlange
Summary: “Our entertainment for the night. Or at least, I hope it is.”Leorio throws a confident gaze to his audience before pulling something much, much smaller than a blunt.Or, Killua and Gon trip on molly together. The events that ensue may or may not change Killua for the better, and show him that there's more out there that life has to offer.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 28
Kudos: 199





	freudian slip

**Author's Note:**

> first killugon fic! super long too, which was,,, totally not planned, but here we are! i hope you enjoy ;-; i love these boys and the connection they have and i can't wait to write them more!

The night sky looked extraordinary tonight, Killua decides as he stares out of Leorio’s car window. It’s Friday, and the stars, gone for what seemed like weeks, twinkle brightly amongst thick cumulus clouds. His forehead is cold against the glass and it bothers him a bit, but he can't tear his eyes away. He's always been mesmerized by the beauty of the night; he never feared it as a child, nor did he run from it now. He wishes he was nocturnal sometimes. Nighttime is a friend to him. Quiet, compliant, empty. It was a place he could exist without much effort. 

Though as much as he loved to live in darkness and seclusion, he enjoyed flickers of light, much like the stars. 

He felt sad when he thought about his life leading up to now. He could never name when, with so many varying events in his past that could have brought him here, but at some point in time, he learned to live with it. There were too many paths to follow, too many puzzles unsolved. He would waste his life looking before he could figure it all out, so he decided it wasn't all so bad in the big scheme of things. Because he too, had his own set of stars to look forward to.

He had moments where he forgot about it all and felt like a twenty-one-year-old. Times where he would sit at a table with friends, an empty beer can in his hands as he tries to contain his uncontrollable, goofy laugh. Times where he would take trips to the city and sneak onto rooftops with Leorio, twirling a blunt between his fingertips while contemplating just why such simple little things brought him indescribable joy. 

It was those times that made the storm cloud that hovered about him bearable. Darkness, _emptiness_ , was part of him. There was no running from it at the end of the day. It would always come back; like the sun. But he could still have his pockets of happiness. This was life now, and Killua was okay with it.

Killua tunes back into his current space, thoughts dissipating into a hazy mist.

“His name is Kurapika,” Leorio grins wide as he maneuvers the car down the highway, “such a weird name, but so elegant, you know?”

“You shouldn’t call people’s names weird if you like them.” Killua aims a smug look at his friend, who scoffs in response.

“I don’t mean it as an insult. I—have you ever heard of _anyone_ named Kurapika?”

“Have you ever heard of anyone else named Leorio?”

The former falls silent after that, muttering angrily to himself and focusing back on the road. It’s his way of saying touché, Killua has learned.

Kurapika, the man in question, is Leorio’s latest beau. He took the time and effort to describe Kurapika as a gentle yet assertive scholar, intimidating and fascinating Leorio into the affection he now harbors. They’d been talking for months, apparently. Leorio had done a pretty good job of keeping his lips locked about the whole thing, to Killua’s surprise.

 _“If I talked about him before I felt positive about it, then it would have never worked out. That’s how it works.”_ Is what he said upon Killua’s interrogation earlier. 

Despite it all, Leorio has gotten the ticket into Kurapika’s life outside of class that he so desired. And now, he needed his best friend Killua to pull it off. 

_“He’s got a roommate that’s going to be there. I just need you to…keep him company while I make my move.”_

Contrary to what Leorio (or anyone) might think, Killua somewhat enjoyed being a part of the process. He was an important chess piece tonight, and part of him felt smug that his role could change the entire outcome of the night. It’s sinister, but Killua revels in it.

“You know the plan, right?”

“The plan?”

“Yes,” Leorio groans as he exits onto the main road, “operation ‘leave me alone so I can talk to Kurapika uninterrupted by his nosy roommate’.”

“What makes you think he’s nosy?”

“I don’t know—I’m going into this blind. I’m just covering all my bases before I dive in.”

“Right…”

“Plus, I have a secret ingredient.”

_Secret ingredient?_

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Killua asks, his interest aroused. ‘Secret ingredient’ already held a multitude of possibilities, but for Leorio, they tripled. He’s the type to always have something new up his sleeve. Killua has known him for all his life and has yet to be bored. “What is it? Is it drugs?”

He smirks. “You might be on the ticket.”

The thought of a fat blunt makes Killua warm and fuzzy inside. He hasn’t had a good night in a while. He’s definitely earned this. 

The rest of the drive is silent, but the air is light. Excitable, even. Weed quickly became one of Killua's favorite things after leaving for college. He loved everything about it, even the smell. But what he loved most was how no matter what time he smokes, he feels the same as he does at night. It's a powerful sensation, to be in his own universe and feel so at peace, all his thoughts ceasing to exist while the sun was still out, shining as bright as ever. 

Leorio maneuvers his way down a few more streets, before finally parking in front of a remote set of apartment buildings. He sighs in relief, an indicator that they were definitely close to being lost at some point during their trip. Though Killua forgets it with haste, now eyeing the complex and surrounding area closely. The neighborhood as a whole is peaceful, Killua being able to hear the crickets hiding in the grass from inside of the car. If he was correct in assuming that Kurapika was a college student like them, he felt justified in his astonishment. 

"Kurapika lives here?"

"This is where the address took me..."

"How old is he again?"

"Unimportant." Leorio turns the car off. "Are you ready?"

"I mean, I fucking _guess_." Killua slouches in his car seat, "Unless this guy is a teacher and you lied to me during this entire drive."

His friend sighs. "He is a student. He just…happens to have a little more money than us, okay?"

"So a sugar daddy is the goal here? No wonder you're so dead set on me playing the distraction."

" _Shut up_.” 

Killua eases on the teasing when he gets a good look at the nervous expression on Leorio’s face. His lips are quirked into a frown, his fingers digging into the meat of his thighs.

“Leorio, you’ll be fine. Really.”

He sighs, shaking his head.

“Usually, _usually_ , I don’t care about these things this much? You know?”

“Yeah,” Killua nods, his concern growing, “I know.” 

Leorio doesn’t talk like this often, with this much emotion weaved into his words. He and Killua have had their share of deep conversations. Serious moments where they connected with red eyes and hearts completely torn open. So Killua wasn’t expecting his heart to twist hearing that same emotion without the aid of cannabis. Almost as if he didn’t want to hear it. Because he knew he couldn’t handle it.

“Maybe...he’s important to you.” Killua tries.

“I don’t even know him though,” Leorio mutters through the hand that reached to cover his mouth. He was deep in thought at this point, trying to break himself apart so he could manage to put it back together. “It doesn’t make sense—oh fuck, yes it does. You just don’t want to admit it.”

“Admit…?”

“That I already like him.”

Killua deadpans.

“What.”

“Killua. _Like_ like him. Don’t—don’t make me go back to third-grade terminology.”

“I thought you already knew that.”

“Me wanting to _fuck_ him is a completely different concept from me wanting to sit down and twirl his hair and talk about our feelings.”

“Is his hair that long?”

“Yes. Wh—why can’t you stay on topic?”

“I’m all jittery,” Killua confesses, “I wanna know what you have up your sleeve and potentially get fucked up.”

“Then let’s go. Let’s—let’s just go.”

“It’s better this way,” Killua unlocks the passenger door, falling back and maneuvering his feet to land on bumpy gravel. The cool air whips at Killua’s cheeks, and it feels much nicer than inside the car that was only getting hotter with every word that Leorio said. Usually, Killua tries to empathize a bit harder than today, but he just wants to get to the good part. That’s the only reason why he’s here, really. Other than playing distraction, of course. It wasn’t like he was going to be seriously hanging out with Leorio the entire time, especially if they were _all_ going to smoke.

Most likely they’ll end up splitting; Leorio with Kurapika, and Killua with the roommate. Killua has done this before in high school. He was the perfect candidate: handsome, but not too handsome to take attention away from the friends that would ask him to attend double dates and keep their date’s friend busy. He was chill with everything, could be charismatic when he could—though he really did have to try his hardest in those cases.

They…weren’t really his friends.

But it didn’t change the fact that he was perfect for the job. He was okay with that, truthfully. Being useful to someone. 

Images of old classmates and wasted nights burn out shortly, his thoughts interrupted by the slam of Leorio’s car door. The cheerful honk of his alarm sounded before a deep exhale. 

“Okay. I’m ready. Let’s go.”

Leorio led the way, Killua following not too far behind. They had to travel for quite a bit, from entering the complex itself to navigating multiple sets of stairs. For a hot second during one of their roundabouts, Killua was positive Leorio didn’t even know where the fuck he was going.

Regardless, a few minutes later, they stood in front of a paneled wooden door. Killua braced himself on the wall, watching Leorio swipe through his phone to double-check the address he’d already checked maybe five to ten minutes ago.

The inside of the complex is just as nice as the outside. Everything seems to be clean down to a tee, from the ivory walls to the mirrors that sit at the ends of the hall, to the carpet that reminds him of fancy hotels rather than apartments for college students. It would be rude, he knows, but he’s dying to know how the two of them (them being Kurapika and resident number two), managed to afford such a fantastic living space. It was safe to say Killua was even _jealous_. He’d opt to have all his classes online if he had this kind of off-campus living.

“Six hundred sixty…oh yeah! Okay, great. This is it.”

Killua glances up, scanning over the brass numbers. 667. He smirks.

“Could have been 666.”

“Killua.”

“The devil is cool.”

“Dude.” Leorio practically throws his head back as he says it. “Please don’t talk about the devil when we go in there.”

“Are you like, seventy? Our entire generation thinks the devil is cool.”

“It’s not about what’s cool. Don’t be all ‘hail Satan’ in there _please_.”

“When did I ever say hail Satan?”

“I don’t know! Just don’t start now—“

“You’re too nervous,” Killua pushes himself up off the wall with force before meeting Leorio’s glare with one of his own, “it’s starting to leak out of you. And onto me. I’m not gonna be stupid and embarrass you. Okay? Take it easy.”

“God—fuck, you know what, fine. Fine. I’ll stop being nervous once you stop judging me with your face and your expressions and your…chill…ness?”

“Leorio—“

“ _Killua.”_

They have a staredown for a couple of seconds, victory tipping between the two of them until begrudgingly, Killua nods, slipping his hands in his pocket and keeping quiet. Despite their little tiff, he can feel Leorio peering at him from the corner of his eye. He has something to say. Of course he does. Killua just wishes he’d spit it out. 

“Hey.”

Leorio looks directly at him now.

“Mmm…thank you. Seriously. You didn’t have to do this.”

Killua gives him an easy smile.

“Of course.”

Leorio sucks. But he’s a friend.

It felt like years, but eventually, Leorio knocked on the door three times and took a step back. Killua wasn’t sure why, but his stomach was swirling, more anxious than ever.

After a few seconds, maybe it’s more, Killua can’t tell, a blonde opens the door. That’s the first thing that comes to mind when Kurapika (he can only assume, considering the way Leorio’s body tightens at the sight of him) answers the door. He’s blonde. _Very_ blonde.

“Leorio,” Kurapika expression gentle as soon as he sees a familiar face, “It’s good to see you. I’m glad you found the place.”

He’s more formal than Killua expected. Not only that, but Kurapika is a lot tamer than he thought he’d be. He has a dainty, skinny body. His arms fill the sleeves of his t-shirt, but Killua feels like the sweatpants that hang on his waist are hiding a pair of matching skinny legs. His eyes are tired, though they invite them inside regardless. Or, they invite _Leorio_ in, he should say. Kurapika hasn’t stopped looking at him since he arrived. Killua isn’t sure why Leorio was worried in the first place. He seems to already have it in the bag.

“Nice to see you too, Kurapika.” Leorio greets him, “This is my roommate Killua, by the way.”

Kurapika finally pays him attention, holding his hand out politely.

“It’s nice to meet you, Killua.”

He takes Kurapika’s hand in his, shaking quickly before pulling away. The former retracts and reaches to open the front door wider.

“Come in! Make yourselves at home.”

Killua steps in after Leorio, slipping his shoes off quickly and reaching down to grab them from the floor. In the corner of the doorway rests a huge pile of sneakers, boots, and…are those heels? Wincing at the mess, he opts to rest them on the other side. Leorio does the same, probably not even noticing the shoe mountain for himself and just copying him.

“My roommate is on the phone with his aunt, but once he’s off you should be able to tell us about whatever surprise you have in store for us tonight, Leorio.” 

There’s enticement in Kurapika’s voice when he says it, seating himself on one of their decorated couches. They have a nice apartment, Killua must admit. Part of him wishes he had a place to decorate like this. Not one he’d have to move out of in a few months, no. Something more permanent than that.

“What were you up to before I came?” Killua senses Leorio relax upon asking the question. He makes his way to where Kurapika sits, perching himself right beside him.

“Oh you know, not much…”

They talk amongst themselves, and it seems that Killua is already a forgotten entity before they’d even started the night. Maybe it would be like this for the rest of the night. Maybe the roommate was quiet and he wouldn’t need to put in much effort, to begin with.

He strides over to the bar, settling in the kitchen far from Leorio and Kurapika. If the night came together and ended up like this, he’d be okay. He’d stay out of Leorio’s way, let him have his fun, do what he pleases, and then he’d make his exit. In the back of his mind, he had an inkling that his friend wouldn’t be returning with him. Hell, he seemed determined enough. And that look on Kurapika’s face…

Killua could feel the ease between them, the strength of their connection. It might be a stretch to say he’s _jealous_ , but akin desperation to feel that way eats at him by the inch. His mouth turns down to frown, pulling his knees to his chest. 

“So…” Leorio glances around, first at Killua, then back to Kurapika, “where’s this roommate of yours? We should get started soon.”

“He’s taking a while, isn’t he.” Kurapika sighs as if he’s been in this situation more than once, getting up from the chair. Leorio looks up longingly. He probably misses the closeness. Killua gets it.

“Hey, Gon!”

Killua’s brows fly up, wide eyes following Kurapika’s voice. He must have misheard. There’s no way he heard that correctly.

“Are you ready yet?”

“Yeah! I’m coming, I’m coming…”

The door creaks open loudly, revealing the mysterious roommate that Leorio and Killua had been discussing mere moments ago. Only, when his face comes into the light, Killua regrets ever leaving the sanctuary of his bedroom. His heart falls into his ass when the boy opens his mouth, announcing himself to the room.

“Hi, I’m Gon.”

_Gon? Gon Freecss?_

“Leorio, right?” A hand passes through his dark hair, frizzier than he’s used to seeing. Probably from lounging in bed for a while.

 _Holy shit_ . Killua spirals. _It is him_.

“Yeah,” Leorio extends a hand, unaware of Killua’s state of panic, “it’s nice to meet you.”

_There’s no way. Is the world really that small?_

“Who’s your friend?”

_Holy shit._

“Oh, this is Killua.”

_No, no. Shut up, please._

“Killua…” Gon ponders on it as his name hangs in the air, “do I know you from somewhere?”

Killua’s unable to answer at first. The true story of why he knows Gon, and Gon knows him, is…awkward. Awkward and embarrassing. So embarrassing, Killua finds it hard to believe that Gon doesn’t recall who he is or what he looks like.

“Maybe we’ve run into each other on campus?” He tries to play it off nonetheless. 

“Oh, you go here too?” His grin endures, “Cool! Maybe that’s why you seem so familiar.”

The universe, _thankfully_ , seems to be on Killua’s side tonight. He’d have been too shell-shocked to save himself. The story behind why Killua knew Gon Freecss wasn’t exactly one you tried to keep alive. In fact, Gon was Killua’s best-kept secret until tonight. 

Three days a week, around 2:30 PM, Killua would camp out in the library, waiting for the bouncy college senior to stride into the library, a small stack of books in his hand each time.

It wasn’t Killua’s proudest choice to trail Gon in his free time, no, but he truly couldn’t help himself. It was impossible to resist him the first time, and it was enough to keep him coming back for more.

The first time Killua saw Gon was at the beginning of the fall semester. Killua was scouring about for books that he would much rather borrow or speed read in the library than buy. He remembers how annoyed he was, unable to find what he thought was a simple history book. That, and he was unable to find a single book before that.

Haunted by his own anger, his fingers had tightened around the flimsy paperback he’d picked up last, crushing the pages in his hand. It’s when the paper begins to crinkle that a hand flies over his.

“Hey! You’re gonna destroy it.”

Killua has halted almost immediately, his cold stare met with a rush of gold. It sent a jolt of lighting up his spine, the alarming color of his eyes. _Jesus_ , he couldn’t help but think. His heart stuttered, grip on the book loosened.

Gon, though he hadn’t known his name at the time, took the book out of his hands gently, straightening out the covers and crushed pages best he could. His touch was delicate. Killua could tell from looking alone. His brows were knitted together, pouring all his focus on bringing the book back to what it was before Killua had raged.

“Do you… like that book?”

A stupid question to ask, looking back at it now, but Gon chose to bite anyway.

“It’s not the best, but I like all the books I’ve read.”

“How many have you read?”

Gon had smiled before answering, “Too many.”

He placed the book back into Killua’s awaiting palms before trotting away just as quickly as he’d come. It all happened so fast, he hadn’t even registered exactly what just occurred. Killua peered at the title. _Tales of Yorknew_.

He couldn’t explain what he felt at that moment, reading the title, but he wanted to know what was so special about this book that that boy had to save it. 

Killua left the library with _Tales of Yorknew_ and came back the next day having read it from cover to cover. 

He camped out at one of the tables in the far back of the library, close to where he’d seen Gon, as well as within view of the entrance of the library. There wasn’t a clear reason as to why he chose to do what he was doing, but he was following his gut for once. He wanted to learn more. He wanted to be that close to him again.

Killua remembered holding _Tales of Yorknew_ close to his chest as he walked home. He’d never seen a touch so delicate before. He wondered how those hands would feel on his cheeks.

He waited until the late evening, opting to leave as he was cutting it too close in terms of getting dinner. The dining halls would close soon, and Killua was sure he wasn’t coming.

When he laid in his bed that night, he convinced himself to go again tomorrow. Someone who loves books doesn’t avoid the library, right? He’s bound to see him there again at some point. 

The next afternoon, he’s pleased to discover that Gon had arrived in the library before he did. Killua’s eyes widened, happy to have succeeded in finding him again. Gon sat near the very front of the library, consumed by yet another novel. Killua didn’t catch the title. He made himself busy and sat down in the same place as yesterday. Attempting to be a bit less conspicuous than yesterday, he opted to bring his laptop and some of his homework to keep busy.

Eventually, Killua discovered the pattern after a couple of weeks. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays. 

He didn’t have a plan outside of observing Gon from afar. Eventually, he learned his name, when a group of people bursts into the library one quiet Wednesday shouting his name. They’d come to get him for some club event that Killua didn’t remember the details about, as he was focused on finally knowing who he was.

That was as far as it was supposed to go. He knew his name, and he got to see him three days a week. Killua didn’t mind admiring from a distance; there was significantly less risk in doing so. But now Gon stands before him, in the tangible flesh, less than six feet apart from him. 

Weed isn’t enough to keep Killua here.

“Now, for the main event.”

 _Shit_. Too late. 

“Main event?” Gon asks.

Killua is frozen where he sits. The sound of Gon’s voice at this proximity alone paralyzes him. He’s used to hearing the echoes of the library, not hearing it from the source. 

“Our entertainment for the night. Or at least, I hope it is.”

Leorio throws a confident gaze to his audience before pulling something much, much smaller than a blunt.

 _Molly?_ Killua’s eyes boggle at the four pills resting in Leorio’s small baggie. He hates that he’s able to recognize it, but that’s beside the point. His first thoughts are, to no-one’s surprise, just how Leorio was able to get his hands on this shit, He knew his friend was a man with many connections, some of which were even beyond his own family’s reach, but he didn’t think Leorio knew the… _people_ one needed to know to come into contact with hard drugs like ecstasy. Rather, he didn’t expect Leorio to have _deep_ connections, as well as far ones.

“Molly,” He announces with glee, “and it’s good quality. I tested a pill before picking up Killua, so I can confirm it doesn’t have heroin or anything.”

“So you had five pills originally?” Kurapika says.

“Yeah; I sacrificed the one for our safety and broke it up to test it.”

“Wow,” Kurapika sports a playful smirk, “my hero.”

Even Killua can see through that and read the message Kurapika is sending through the tease. Leorio clearly can too, the red blossoming on his cheeks telling Killua everything he needs to know. 

“Maybe it was for the best, considering there’s four of us anyway.” Gon nods in agreement, completely unphased. How are neither of them as shocked as he is? He’s not trying to show it on his face, how he may be a _teeny_ bit concerned about kicking it back and popping molly on a Friday night, but to be completely unphased…Killua doesn’t understand it. It’s not like they’ve done it before and have more experience on him; they’re all in the same boat. At least, he thinks they are. 

Wait a second.

“Have you guys ever done drugs before?” Killua’s fists ball up as soon as the question escapes his lips. He’s clearly and evidently nervous about the answer.

“Nope, never,” Kurapika responds first, “but I’ve always wanted to try pure molly, just once. I don’t think I would ever be interested in doing it a second time.”

“You never know,” Leorio teases, “you could love it so much you’d want to do it again.”

“Or I could hate it and never do it again.” He says it with firm affirmation, “but yeah. You never know until you try.”

A policy that shouldn’t exactly be applied to drugs, but it doesn’t seem to phase anyone. Killua has his own reservations regarding this next step, it seems that his concern isn’t a shared one. Kurapika’s eyes twinkle with excitement as they lock directly with Leorio’s. Perhaps Leorio has hit a positive point within him. Not that drugs are all that positive. 

_He isn’t really in the place to say anything anyway._ He’s a living, breathing hypocrite, melting where he sits.

Gon is excited as well, smiling from ear to ear yet again. Killua hasn’t decided if that annoys him, or if he secretly loves it and doesn’t want to admit. Granted, everything about Gon has him stuck between those two paths.

“Alright, everyone take your share,” Leorio makes his way around the room, skidding his socked feet along the carpet and dropping the small pill in everyone’s hands. When he reaches Killua and hands him his drugs, he’s reminded of just how powerful a small capsule could potentially be. He’s seen molly countless times before; from movies to parties. He’d been abroad once, and all his friends were eager to dive into a world they hadn’t a clue about. Killua had held off, afraid of entering such a state in a country he’d barely known his way around.

They didn’t care. It was reckless and stupid. But they’re okay, at the end of the day. He could probably call them up tomorrow and laugh about it all as if it wasn’t harmful in theory. Killua looks at Gon again, sees the sparkling naivety in his eyes. Just like those friends of his.

Sometimes Killua wishes he could feel like that.

“Ready?”

Well, maybe he could. For just one night.

His eyes settle on the pill resting in his palm. He’s doing this, he supposes. He could leave, sure, call an Uber, but his legs refuse to move. It would seem that his body has already decided on his course of action. 

“Alright on three!” Leorio carries the hype with ease, “One…”

_Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad._

“Two…”

_Ah shit. Who fucking cares._

“Three!”

Killua throws his head back, lets the pill descend from his fingertips and down the hatch. He knew it wouldn’t feel any different from an Advil, but he’s still surprised. Everyone follows suit, popping their pills into their mouths. They smile, contrasting Killua’s contorted expression.

“How do you think it’ll take to hit?” Gon sinks into the couch, “Thirty? An hour?”

“Yeah thirty minutes to an hour,” Leorio nods, “not sure what’s gonna happen once it hits, though.”

“We’ll be fine,” He shrugs as if he’s done it twelve times before tonight and it annoys Killua as much as it intrigues him, “I trust you, though. You’re positive it’s not laced?”

“I _tested_ it,” Leorio reemphasizes, “Like, I couldn’t be more sure.”

“Okay okay…” Gon settles and the entire room falls silent. There’s already a divide between the group of four. Leorio and Kurapika were huddled on one side of the room, flashing their phone screens at each other every once in a while. They’re probably showing each other memes, knowing Leorio. But Killua is more focused on the fact that he and Gon made up the second half of the room. 

That and Gon was _looking_ at him. 

“What…?” Killua doesn’t know what else to say.

“What? I’m just looking.”

For a moment, Killua wonders again if Gon was in fact lying about knowing him. He was still considering that possibility because really, he could just be humiliating himself with every minute that they spend near each other.

“Why?” He still pushes forward.

“Cause I can,” He shrugs, “so what are you studying?”

“I’m undecided,” Killua says.

“Cool!” Gon beams, “Have you decided yet?”

He deadpans, bleached hair falling past his eyes. There is no way he just said that.

“If I decided, why would I still be undecided?”

Gon purses his lips, eyes rolling to the side before he bursts out in a fit of laughter, startling Kurapika and Leorio from their intimate huddle.

“You good, Gon?” Kurapika’s blond locks frame his face, head leaning into Leorio, who towers over him as he sits on the arm of the couch.

“No no yeah, I’m fine, just silly,” His laughter shrinks to that of a few short giggles, “Really silly.”

“There is no way it’s hitting you already.”

“It’s not!” Gon exclaims, but it doesn’t hold much weight when his face falls seconds later and he ponders on it. “Unless it is?”

“Holy shit,” Leorio laughs, “this shit is the real deal.”

“Well, I’d _hope_ it is,” Killua inquires, “what would be the point of you testing it then?”

“Killua, just…” Leorio waves his hand at him, “sh. Sh sh sh. You are too loud right now.”

“You’re too loud!” He shouts for good measure, “and you’re like two feet away from me!”

“Killua I could take _four_ steps,” Leorio stands up and outstretches his left leg, “and I would reach you. _Four_.”

“ _Do it_ .” Killua is standing on the couch all of a sudden, glaring at his friend’s dirty white socks. Why did he _wear those?_ He couldn’t wear more interesting socks for his little date? He knows that he has _much_ cooler socks and he doesn’t need to fucking wear _those_.

“Your socks suck.” He mutters.

“So does your math,” Leorio is now hovering above with him with a wide grin. He can only assume he made it here in four steps.

“That doesn’t change the fact that your socks suck.”

Gon and Kurapika, mere bystanders, were losing themselves in a chamber of howling and hooting at the scene playing out before them. Killua prods at Leorio’s toe with his own, a pout on his lips.

“You’re weird, Killua.”

“ _You’re_ weird. You wear pimp glasses at night.”

Leorio acts as if he’s been hit, clutching his heart as he takes exactly four steps (oh how he irritates Killua) back to his seat.

“I’m hurt. These aren’t even pimp glasses.”

“Yeah,” Kurapika chimes in, siding with him, “Aren’t pimp glasses bigger? I think I would put these in the category of like…grandpa glasses.”

Killua snorts, covering his mouth. Gon is cracking up behind him, the sound of his body landing on the floor heard by them all.

Thirty minutes afterward, Kurapika is wandering into his room, Leorio following close behind. The atmosphere had vegged out a while ago, their previous excitement a thing of the past. Now, everything is just _wavy_ . He has a hand resting atop Kurapika’s head, rubbing gently as if he’s petting a dog. Killua's never seen Leorio so… _chilled out_ before. He’d never touch people’s heads. When did he do that? That wasn’t a Leorio thing to do. Leorio hates touching. He’d never seen Leorio’s _back_ before either. Was his torso always so broad? Did Leorio just… never turn around when they hung out?

The door shuts quietly behind them, but Killua’s eyes stay trained where Leorio once stood. How _dare_ he leave him. How _dare_ he. What is he supposed to do with Gon? It's more than obvious he has a big fat crush on him. And now he’s supposed to deal with it alone? Without aid?

Where even is Gon? Killua wants to turn his head, tilt it so he can see just where Gon sits behind him on the couch, but he can’t. His skull is suddenly so heavy he can’t focus on moving it. Rocks pile into the hollow of his head. It wants to stay. Therefore it will.

“Killua~!”

There’s Gon. He knows it’s Gon, but he sounds so far away. Like they’re on a mountain and even though Killua is at the top, Gon sits at the bottom, crying out. Where are they? He swears the voice comes from above him. But how? He knows where it is, where _Gon_ is. Why is it so far? So…high?

He smiles suddenly, a fit of giggles ready to burst up from his chest. Can’t lift his head, can’t move, can barely look in a direction other than forward, but he’s laughing. Killua has no idea where it’s all coming from, but it hurts how _good_ he feels right now.

“Killua.”

Gon is closer than before; _much_ closer. His ass is seated square on Killua’s thighs, eyes glossed over and staring at the top of his head. Killua doesn’t even know when he got there, or how he didn’t feel it. Normally he’d be flustered and frozen, but instead, he’s relaxed, bracing himself on the couch. It’s like Gon wasn’t even there to begin with, but instead he is. It has to be the molly. He doesn’t have the fight in him to panic. It feels like it’s all trickled out of him, dripping from his pores and onto the floor. Gon is warm anyway, and his skin burns pleasantly against Killua legs.

“Your hair…”

“What about it—”

“It’s so _white_.” Gon sputters, his hands suddenly tangled deep in Killua’s hair. The touch isn’t as soft as Killua had imagined. It’s rough, jostling his head to the side. Gon’s hands are quite literally pulling at the tufts of his hair without care. Unexpected, but the feeling of a slight tug on his head gave him a rush separate from what he was currently experiencing. Or maybe it was all bunched together. He can’t explain it. All he knows is that every feeling in his body has been heightened. 

“Did you dye it?”

“I…yeah.”

That’s what’s supposed to happen, yeah, but _feeling_ it is a whole new story, and Killua can suddenly fill the pages from start to finish. Gon’s fingers feel like needles without the pick, the tips digging deep into his scalp. Killua’s eyes had fallen shut awhile ago, he assumes, his mouth now falling agape. He’s melting into it, Gon’s voice lingering somewhere in the air. 

“Soft,” Killua mumbles, a giggle slipping past his lips afterward. “You’re soft.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, like—like a little pillow made of feathers, covered in the stuff they use to make weighted blankets.”

“…Shit. That’s fucking soft. Like softer than a bird?”

“Birds are _not_ soft.”

They laugh again, the sound ringing in the room. Their bodies have fallen limp and Killua can’t move. Gon has opted to let his head slump into the crook of his neck. Killua hasn’t popped a boner yet, to his bewilderment. Maybe his dick is asleep. 

Gon’s chin is lodged where Killua’s collarbone dips. It hurts, just a bit, but he doesn’t feel it after a few short seconds.

“Your skin is pretty,” Gon whispers, and Killua wonders if anyone has been close enough to his skin to say such a thing. His lips are close enough to press a kiss down. The prospect alone excites.

“Thank you,” He smiles, “you’re pretty.”

Killua hadn’t even thought twice before saying it. But, it was true. So who cares. At least he knows. It’s a good thing he knows, actually. Regardless, it seems that Gon hadn’t thought twice about what he said.

“No, _you’re_ pretty.”

“No, you are.”

Gon lifts his head to give him a toothy grin once more. Killua decides at that moment that it isn’t annoying after all. In fact, he returns it with ease. His face hurts. _Has he ever smiled like this before?_

“Do you wanna see my room?” Gon asks suddenly, his eyes as wide and sparkling as his smile. It’s almost like anime. Because he can _see_ the sparkles shining in Gon’s pupils, really. They’re big and bright and starry like he’s watching Sailor Moon on a Saturday morning. 

“What’s in it?” 

“I got cool lights. It’s like the stars are walking on my wall.”

Gon didn’t wait for a response, instead opting to drag Killua by his right arm. The latter’s brain has essentially clocked out of any form of critical thinking, the only thought of his being if stars actually had feet, or if they just floated wherever they needed to go.

Killua watched the ceiling shift from a dull grey to a sea of hues; blue, purple, pink, green, so many, _too_ many, yet not enough. It’s euphoric.

“Oh my _god!_ ” He cries out, placing a hand over his gaping mouth, “You have an entire universe in your room! How do you not get lost, oh my god? It’s so cool, wow—”

“You can change the colors, look…”

Gon proceeds to flip through a multitude of settings, different displays flowing into each other accordingly. Killua’s eyes ease onto what’s being presented to him, but his mind drifts elsewhere. His brain can’t grasp the concept (the molly is certainly working the way it’s supposed to) that he’s in Gon’s room. _Gon’s room_ . It was a level up, without a doubt. He went from stalking him at the library to _this_ . And Gon didn’t even know who he was. Not only did he level up but he was _lucky_.

Killua glanced around, wishing his brain came with a camera. If he could document every single second he was spending with Gon tonight, watch back whenever he pleased, and live in this moment an unlimited amount of times, he would.

He falls back onto Gon’s mattress, soft under his touch. What a comfortable bed. His college dorm could never compare to the world Gon has created for himself.

“What did this room look like before?”

“Boring. As. Fuck.” Gon plops down beside him, “It was nothing like it is now. This took a lot of work.”

“And a lot of electricity…” Killua murmurs. 

“They’re LEDs. No electricity.” Gon pokes his nose. “Silly.”

The two of them smile at each other for a moment before Gon falls back onto the mattress. Killua likes Gon’s room after looking around for a while. It’s clean enough, giving off an organized chaos vibe. It’s well decorated, the back wall of the room littered with posters featuring a multitude of celebrities and animated characters from shows he can pick out from his childhood. 

“Do you wanna listen to something?” Gon pipes up from behind him. Killua turns to see him tapping away at his cell leisurely, a rectangular speaker resting on his chest. It seems his body language gave off the answer Gon was seeking out. Soft, R&B music drums out and floods the room.

“You like this, right?” He asks, and Killua laughs because why does _he_ need to consent to the music choice? It’s not like they’re in _his_ room.

“As long as you like it, it’s fine.”

“Cool.” Gon reaches to place the speaker on his bedside dresser. Killua’s eyes follow the line of Gon’s form, the stretch of his strained arms and legs. He’d never been close enough to admire his features like this. Hell, he thought Gon was a lot scrawnier than he actually is. He wonders if Gon’s a gym freak. He’d never seen him anywhere else around campus. He very well could be.

“You’re staring, now.”

Killua startles, looking up at the man now bracing himself on his knees, peering down at him.

“You can’t get mad at me for doing it now!” Gon brands a childlike smile. The hint of tension that was building between them dissipates instantly.

“Y-You—You uh, never told me what you studied,” Killua changes the subject swiftly while backing up a bit and successfully bumping his hand on the footboard. He winces at the surge of pain that twists up his arm.

“Oh,” Gon sits back down, legs crossed over each other. “I’m a biology major.”

“Nature ‘n shit? Or like, do you wanna be a doctor like Leorio?”

“I don’t wanna be a doctor,” Gon shakes his head, “I like nature. I wanna concentrate on the environment.”

“Do you think climate change is real?” Killua twirls a snowy strand of hair around his finger. His vision flickers from his hair to the wall each second, blurring in and out. 

“Yeah? Why?”

“Then you’ll be fine.”

“The environment is in danger for more reasons than climate change. There’s the population growth, and deforestation, and the polar ice caps—”

“ _Jesus._ All I ever hear about is climate change and recycling,” Killua hums, “but you seem like you know a lot about it. I would trust you to save the trees.”

“Thanks. My dad works in the field too,” he says with what looks and feels like a bittersweet smile, “hoping I’ll run into him one day once I’m out there.”

“You don’t see him?” Killua, along with the other cues, picks up on the immediate disappointment in his tone. 

“Yeah.” Gon shrugs like they’re talking about bad movies, “he doesn’t visit, really. I think I’ve met him like, twice? I was eight when he came to see my aunt once, and then…” he presses his thumb, “once when I was 17? I haven’t seen him since I started school here.”

Killua couldn’t relate to the sorrow Gon clearly felt not having much of a relationship with his father. He would pay thousands of dollars to never cross paths with his father again. Another feeling that Gon experiences that Killua doesn’t have the slightest understanding of. Even worse, a feeling can’t find a way to empathize with it. 

“Do you miss him?” He asks after a beat, simply at a loss for words.

“Yeah. But what can I do you know? He’s gone all the time. I’m not gonna wait for him. Our interests align, so I might as well try to hunt him down.”

Killua’s eyes, glazed over, follow the windy path to Gon’s. They lay on opposite sides of the bed, still and silent. An urge to tell Gon not to prioritize pursuing his father over any dreams he might have consumed Killua. He gulps when Gon tosses him an inert smirk.

“What are you thinking?” He slurs with a short giggle. 

“Follow your dreams,” Killua says, “but like, don’t divert just because of your dad.”

“Divert?”

“Yeah like…” Killua sits up, “I know we met each other like, a few hours ago, but it feels like you’ve spent your time mourning someone who could not be returning that longing. So I guess what I’m saying is that you should take care of yourself and do shit for you.”

Gon’s expression turns to shock, most likely from the blunt plainness of Killua’s words. He’d been weighing whether he should have given an opinion, due to his own potential bias. His words could have the potential to change Gon’s entire life plan, and he just felt like his own personal feelings held too much of a toll. Though, maybe it’s not that clear to the dark-haired boy.

“You’re right.” He says, and Killua breathes out in relief. “Fair point. I won’t.”

Gon turns over on his belly, swinging his legs behind him before he shouts, “My turn to pry!” 

A pit grows in the bottom of Killua’s stomach. “Go for it!” He says with feigned confidence. 

“Why are you undecided?”

Killua sighs, coming out with it. Might as well.

“I don’t know what I want to do with my life.” He says it curtly, averting Gon’s piercing gaze. “Simple as that.”

“Do you have an idea?” Gon inches closer and Killua stiffens at the distance between them. He’s much more on edge than earlier, in that almost dreamlike state, Gon’s fingers threading through his hair…

“Not really,” He murmurs, rolling over to lay on his side, “I don’t have any passions.”

“What? No hobbies?”

“Nope.”

“Even when you were little?”

“No. Nothing.”

“What did you…do?” Gon proceeds with his questioning with caution, as Killua would expect from someone that didn’t know him. It was strange to someone that didn’t understand.

“It’s a long story, you don’t need to know the details—”

“But I want to.”

Gon looks at him, intending to listen. “I like stories.”

Shit.

“My parents are…heads of a business conglomerate. Everyone in my family kind of just falls in line and works within the company. It’s the easy way out. Work with what you know, build the empire. It’s the only thing you need to know anyway.”

“So they didn’t… you didn’t do anything else? Like baseball?”

Killua laughs, mostly because if he were to do an extracurricular, it definitely wouldn’t be fucking baseball. “Basically, yeah. I learned how to function within the company, and eventually how to run it myself. I was supposed to be the one taking over after my father.”

Gon’s eyes open a bit more at that, but he stays quiet, nodding for Killua to go on.

“It’s like… I don’t know what I want to do, but I’m _positive_ I don’t want to do that. I don’t care about what they care about. And at home, you’re made out to feel like you’re not worthy of anything if you can’t care about what they care about.”

“So what happened? Are you taking over?”

Killua is floored that Gon is taking this with stride, purely unphased by everything he’s laying down about his cult-like family, but he continues nonetheless. “I told my father I didn’t want to, and it didn’t exactly uh, go well? He kind of blew up about how I was an ‘ungrateful shell of a human’.” 

He ignores the fact that he still remembers the insults word for word.

“But you’re not…”

“You don’t understand,” Killua stares up at the ceiling, “they’re… a different breed. I was cut off without a second thought. It was like, one moment I was a prized possession groomed for an artificial throne, and the next I was an afterthought. Shit like that is just…” He searches for a word, and when he finds it his heart sinks, “...dehumanizing.”

Gon hums beside him, repositioning to lay closer. Killua is unaffected.

“So I took the money I had saved up in my own accounts and lugged myself to school. Little did I know, I’ve been drained of all motivation to do anything else. I couldn’t even tell you what I like other than smoking weed and being fucking miserable.”

“Killua…”

They’re scraping extremely untouched territory now. Killua can’t remember the last time he had even touched upon layers buried this deep. He thought he’d repressed it by now, considering how long ago it’s been since everything went down since he’s seen any of them. Their names bounce off of skull for the first time in years; Milluki…Kalluto…Illumi— 

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do! I’ve had this destiny, this _purpose_ lined up for me only for it to be snatched away because of my _own_ actions, and now I don’t even have what it takes to figure it all out afterward? Like nice fucking _job_ Killua,” he scowls, “you get yourself fucking disowned and now you can’t get your shit together after all that big talk—” 

A thumb swipes under Killua’s eyelid and he’s taken aback but the sudden sensation of moisture where he was touched. That is until he sees Gon rub into the fabric of his shorts and Killua realizes it’s his own tear.

“Fuck…” He wipes at his eyes quickly, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Gon says almost immediately, “Seriously. You didn’t deserve what happened to you. I’m sorry.”

“But I’m here now. I can’t just sit on my ass and that’s all I can bring myself to do. All I do is feel miserable and blame other people for it. Do you know that earlier was the happiest I’d been in months?” Killua finally says it, and oxygen that he felt like he’d been holding in for _years_ feels like it’s finally being released. “ _Months_. And almost every time—” 

“Stop stop stop,” Gon mutters, cutting Killua off, “you need to take your own advice, Killua.”

“What advice?”

“Stop living your life for other people. Just like you told me not to do with my dad. You need to stop doing it with yours."

"I'm not--" 

“You are. _Subconsciously_ ,” Gon presses his finger to his brain with aggression, “They’re controlling your every thought and feeling even when you’re apart. Your parents are _not_ here. They don’t control you anymore! You can’t let them! You’re not on their trust fund, or however, that works. It’s just _you_.”

Killua blinks back tears, but Gon isn’t done yet.

“And hey—whatever you do, I—I _swear_ —look, look,” He raises his pinky finger, “I _swear_ I’ll support you. We can make it a whole thing! Find your passion!”

He gapes the crooked pinky being forced into his face. What has this become?

“You’re serious?”

“Look, I don’t know you Killua, At all.” God starts, “But listen; you’re hot, you sound really smart, and all I could ever want in this world right now is for you to thrive and find your calling. Like, my heart is screaming to help you succeed.”

Killua short-circuits. _He called him hot, he called him hot, he called him hot—_

“I—”

“I want to root for you.”

_Why does this sound like the confession he didn’t even know he wanted?_

“I could kiss you right now.”

Killua slaps his hands over his mouth in an instant, eyes wide with horror. He didn’t mean for that to come out of his mouth. They were talking about their families, their _lives_ , and all Killua could say was that he wanted to kiss him?! Not even a thank you, for the kind words and affirmations they just shared. A _kiss_. The molly is speaking for him, no doubt. How does he explain that to Gon, though? Killua has managed to ruin the mood single-handedly; he’s convinced. 

But Gon takes a confident hold of his hand, tangling their fingers together and allowing the space between them to collapse further.

“Do you mean that? Because I could too.”

“You’re…” Killua’s brain is rotting, “you’re lying.”

“I’m serious.”

Dumb luck. That’s what this is.

Killua pauses, attention fixated on their hands clasped together in unison. Unmoving, content. Gon initiated this. Gon _wants_ this. His soul is breaking free from his body. He can’t breathe. The music drowns out of Killua’s hearing range. It all turns to white noise. His eyes flicker, gaze landing on different parts of Gon’s face.

“Should we?” He breathes, lips grown cold. Gon’s free hand reaches out, caresses the spot where his cheeks are painted a soft, vulnerable red. He doesn’t resort to words, doesn’t need them to tell Killua what he so desperately wants to. He rises to his knees and swoops down to capture his lips in a swift kiss. Their mouths part instinctively, and it takes an insane amount of self-control not to devour Gon whole.

The world spins, beautifully unbalanced, and in an instant, Killua is wrapped in sheets, sandwiched between the bed and the boy pressed onto him. For the first time throughout the entire night, he’s _completely_ calm. Their lips meet in the middle once more. 

Gon is affectionate and careful with every move he makes. Every press of his lips against Killua’s is hot and filled with desperation and reflects the unfolding of tension that undoubtedly had grown throughout the night, but it still all felt planned. Like Gon was…searching. Or maybe he already knew what he was looking for.

Regardless, Killua was numb; or maybe buzzing. He doesn’t know, can’t find the words for it. His bottom lip tingles each time Gon pulls away and he inches up for more. Not a moment later, Killua tastes a hot tongue slipping past his lips. They find a rhythm and Gon’s hand creeps under Killua’s shirt, a finger making its way around his nipple.

He shivers and retracts from the sensation, for it feels _way_ too good presently. His cock is already aching in his jeans and it seems the molly was pushing his libido to unknown territory. Arousal had never taken hold of him so quickly, though he’d never been here before. Not in this state, of course, but not in Gon’s bed either.

Gon rests his forearms above him, just beside the loose wisps of his hair, coming free from his bun. The kissing stops and Gon has opted to brace himself and stare down at the sight before him. Killua felt squeamish under his gaze, averting his eyes despite the lack of subjects to focus on. He closes his eyes, only to feel a gentle hand against his exposed cheek.

“You feel so soft…” Gon whispers.

It sounds much different from when he said it earlier, had a new air to it. It made Killua’s stomach squeeze tight. He turns to stare back and it's the fascination in Gon’s eyes that freezes him where he lays.

“Like an angel…” He continued, that same hand retracting and returning underneath his shirt. Killua’s face boils up, red coating every inch of it.

“Don’t say that,” Killua breathes, “my chest hurts when you say that.”

Gon giggles, “Come here, let me kiss it.”

He stuffs his head in Killua’s shirt and he yelps when Gon gives him warm kisses that outline his stomach. It feels good though he squirms, his hands pushing down into the thick of his hair, soft yet stiff.

“Just take it off,” Killua whispered hurriedly, fiddling with the shirt himself and tearing it off and over his and Gon’s head. Gon’s eyes light up, following by example before pressing their chests together again. Killua barely has a moment to get a good look at Gon before he’s smothered and it disappoints him, but only for a second. His skin is flushed, burning in fact against Killua’s. He still can’t believe he’s here at the mercy of Gon’s touch. He looks down to see his pants being unbuttoned, discarded, and tossed to a side of the room that felt like miles away. The stars in the corner of his eyes spin slowly and align to the center of his vision, and for a while, he can’t help but follow them until Gon’s face meets his again and he brings them back into a hurried kiss. 

Killua’s dick aches between the two of them, untouched, and the sounds that come out when Gon nibbles at his bottom lip are beyond his control that crumbles in his grasp. 

Gon thumbs hook around the waist of his boxers, refusing to waste a single moment of the time they have. He shucks them down Killua’s legs as hastily as the jeans before parting them roughly when his hands are free. Killua’s eyes shoot down to where Gon lays happily now, face to face with his privates. He’s not even embarrassed. He conceals a giggle with his hand.

“Gon what are you—” He snorts, “what are you doing?”

“Sh sh sh, I’m eating you out, just sh,” Gon says, lacking the act that Killua has become accustomed to. Never has he met someone who enjoys orally pleasing their partner the way Gon seems to. He marvels at Killua’s most intimate places like a ten-course meal, all prepared and set on the table for him alone. A fear worth exploiting washes over him, all of a sudden. Gon’s eyes flood with predacious intent, and Killua only catches a glimpse before his lips part and there’s a cold, wet sensation crawling up his cock.

He sighs when Gon’s tongue lathers his red pulsing head, pressing a quick kiss on top before swallowing completely. Killua’s hand grasps at a patch of his hair as he sinks low enough to nuzzle the tip of his small nose into snow-white pubic hair. For a moment, Killua had forgotten that less than a few hours ago he’d been petrified to be in the same room as Gon. But now he was speechless, sprawled on the man’s bed without a single hesitance holding him back. 

His confidence was at an all-time high behind the smokescreen of the drug, hips rolling leisurely into Gon’s mouth with each pass of his tongue, every move his head makes. Gon holds his hips with gentle force when he pulls off his cock and drags a frail whine from Killua’s throat.

“You sound nice…” He murmurs it, and Killua almost misses it. His head veers to the side to catch a glimpse of Gon at a better angle. The bedroom spins and the stars twinkle and shift, glistening on the dark-haired man’s skin as he continues to work at Killua’s tender length.

The curve of his jaw comes into view before it falls past his thighs and past where he previously laid. In one swift moment, Gon tastes him with overwhelming speed. Wetness fills and drips out of Killua. He could only cry out with pleasure, thrills of all kinds crashing down on him. It feels as if the tide washes over him repeatedly, warmth and chill trickling down his spine, into his blood. Gon hasn’t come up for air, not once. His head is buried between his thighs, his mouth and tongue live in the crevices of his pulsing wet desire, and the moment it hits him, just where Gon's face is buried, he moans, loud and broken.

He's having an out of body experience. Gon has barely touched any part of him other than what lies below the belt, but he can sense it all over. His neck tingles, his lips beg to be kissed, numb, and wanting. His eyes water, cock _leaking_ onto his pale tummy. 

And then the muscle filling him brushes upon the golden sweet spot that sends ripples through him, and Killua back arches off the bed ever so slightly from the shock. Gon hums underneath him, still not needing a breath. It’s inhumane how much his partner enjoys this; a quality that Killua wished he’d known about before. He would have never settled if he did. Gon’s hunger is shameless and it makes it all the better. 

It feels like years later when it happens, but Gon comes up with a gasp, rushing to Killua’s face and meeting his parted lips. They move together effortlessly, naked bodies flush and sweaty against each other. Gon is gentler than before, his tongue nowhere to be found, instead of focusing on the grind of their mouths, teeth sinking into Killua’s bottom lip and nibbling at what’s left of his composure.

“Did you like it?” Gon breathes between kisses. Killua doesn’t answer. He _can’t_ answer. Sitting there like a puppet with his mouth agape, he tries to lure Gon in for another ravenous embrace. He’s only entertained for a moment, given a few quick kisses before he’s alone again. The bed creaks when Gon departs fully, headed to his desk drawer.

Killua’s head falls onto the pillow resting at the head of Gon’s bed. He watches Gon’s ass, reaching down and gripping his cock in his hands. He can only assume he’s getting lube and a condom and the prospect of it excited him. He strokes generously, gaze switching from ass to hands. Thick digits holding various items that Gon probably had to move to get what they needed so they move forward. Killua wonders what they would feel like inside of him. That is if he'd even get the chance to feel them before Gon's rock hard member.

It doesn’t register that Gon now hovered above him, dropping the two items on Killua’s side, the bottle of lube rolling to rest against his hip. Killua’s brain takes a moment to register the change, head tilting back to its previous location to look at him. 

The man looks down at him with an endearing smile. Killua’s eyes move slowly, from eyes dripping brilliant honey down to where his cock lies, untouched and thick in his grip. Killua smiles.

“How beautiful…”

“What?” Gon asks.

“This,” he motions to his cock, “ _you_ , I, I don’t know. I just love everything that’s about to happen, you know?”

Gon’s expression brightens, kissing Killua.

“Me too. Sex is cool.”

“So fucking cool,” Killua nods as Gon retrieves the lube. Those thick digits he’d just been admiring are soon coated with an abundance of lube. “I’m not that tight,” Killua frowns. Gon turns his attention away from the lube to respond.

“You are, trust me.” Gon smirks, “Felt like you were closing in on my tongue with every fucking move I made. So fucking hot…”

Killua doesn’t even think he has it in him to blush anymore, but his cheeks still burn with intensity at that. Though he wasn’t exactly floored at such a statement right now.

“I’ve never been treated like that,” Killua blurts out, “ever.”

Gon’s hands still. “Which part?”

And Killua has to stop and think about it. He can feel the sludge flowing in his head, concealing the answers. His memories are untouchable now that he’s wrapped so tightly in the present. He thinks that perhaps the fact that he can’t even pick out any good moments of his sex life is telling enough.

“All of it.” He finally answers. “I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re kind of weird.”

He beams at that. “Thank you. You’re kinda weird too.”

“This whole _thing_ is weird.” Killua rambles, fingers brushing along his lonely cock, “I don’t even know where I am.”

“Yes you do,” a jovial laugh echoes against the walls. Killua can hear it from near and far. He realizes then that he does indeed remember where he is. 

Gon tucks a finger inside without warning. Killua mewls when the arousal rushes to his cock. He barely has time to gain momentum before he’s adding another and wounding his fingers about slick velvet walls. They're just as big as he'd hoped, the weight of them within him welcoming. Sweat drips down Killua’s forehead despite the roar of the AC above them, running off his skin and onto the undoubtedly filthy sheets beneath them. Gon’s fingers squelch with every plunge they make inside. Killua can feel the excess lube pooling out of him as a result of the speed but it only makes his heart crush tighter in his chest. Gon watches each move he makes as his fingers work; every twitch, every gasp, is a working factor that decides his next move. 

The orgasm that’s been coiling in his stomach from the beginning is close to coming to a head when a third digit sneaks its way past his pulsing rim and he has to stop Gon, to his utter dismay.

“ _Wait!_ ” He cries out, probably a bit too loud, for he hadn’t forgotten about Kurapika and Leorio on the other side of the apartment, “wait I’m gonna cum. Please fuck me…”

“Yeah, yeah you got it.”

Gon pulls out gently, as to ease Killua’s mourning. Once he’s free he’s got his hands on lubricant, condom ripped between tough incisors. It’s hot to watch him hurry to please someone, to see how _eager_ he is. All the times Killua had seen Gon he came off as easygoing. There was nothing in the library that made him act like this.

When Gon is ready he takes hold of Killua’s hips, lifting him high and hanging his small frame over his cock. Killua, surprised by the abrupt change in position, eyes Gon. He’s curious and more excited than he’s letting on. Or maybe it’s all over his face. Who fucking knows.

“You think you can take me like this?” Gon makes an effort to breathe the request in his mouth, giving him a chaste kiss afterward. All the latter can do is nod, completely spellbound as Gon keeps a tight grip on his hair.

He breaks away, “Just take it slow.”

Gon’s head bobs up and down gently before his knees dig into the mattress. He spreads his hips wide in preparation for Killua to fit properly on his lap. Killua’s feet curve just barely against the mattress when he braces himself on Gon’s broad shoulders, inching himself down.

The head breaches first and the discomfort is enough to prompt a wince, but Gon presses an abundance of kisses against the base of his neck, washing away what little pain there is. It's also worth admitting that the molly has him feeling so out of place and numb that his pain index is out of sorts.

Before either of them knows it, Gon’s cock sits inside of Killua. It takes everything in Gon not to move, and Killua notes the strain written all over him. He takes his twisted face into his hands, gentle to the tips of his fingers as he presses a soft kiss where Gon’s forehead creases. His ass only feels a little uncomfortable, but he knows he should wait just a bit longer before coming back up.

To both their relief, it isn't long before Killua rises off Gon's thighs. He moans, digging his teeth into his bottom lip and sprawling a hand against his stomach. “God, keep going Kil,” he breathes. The tips of Killua’s ears turn red at the nickname, but he doesn’t stop until the tip of his cock rests near the rim.

He sinks faster and the sound that comes from Gon the second time around is delectable. A mix of a moan and a whine punched out of his chest and it only made Killua more determined, grinding down onto him.

“ _Jesus_ ,” He groans, “more, God please more.”

His arms tighten around Gon’s neck as he falls into a steady motion, bouncing up and down his cock. The man's sturdy, confident hands snake around to the square of his arched back, holding tight. The friction sends tremors up Killua’s spine along with the tongue that’s found its way back into his mouth. The taste of salt melds between them and Killua hasn’t a clue that he’s crying again. The irony of it is beautiful.

Gon takes over for him eventually and leans back to thrust up inside, to which Killua only has the energy to gasp. He’s relentless and it can only match the amount of tension they’d built but throughout the night. All that time he spent pleasuring Killua without considering himself for a moment… it made Killua want to go limp and let himself be used. He wanted nothing more than to thank Gon for what he was feeling with the body he so desired.

And though he let himself relax in Gon’s care, the latter still did what he did best and took hold of his cock, bobbing weakly against his stomach. He rubs his thumb against the head and Killua nears his peak at the first touch. 

He clawed at his back as he felt himself be filled to the brim once more. The head of Gon’s cock brushes up against his prostate once, _twice_ , and he knows he’ll be teetering over the edge sooner than later. The combination of the two was too much for him.

“I’m coming…” He manages to croak out, and Gon glances up at him quickly before adjusting to brace himself on his heels.

“Let me look at you, Kil,” Gon brushes a clump of sweat white strands out of Killua’s eyesight, gripping his unruly mane.

Killua only responds in a curt nod before he's driving into him without a single care in the world. Gon cranes his head back faintly and with each roll of his hips, a sound resembling that of a hiccup passes Killua’s lips. The heat in his stomach builds up just as fast as before but this time Gon doesn’t give him a moment to breathe.

His orgasm hits him hard, hips quivering with the first jet of cum. He’s soaring through the clouds, stars at his fingertips as his eyes roll to the back of his head. Gon cradles him through it all as he rushes to his own finish, stuttering inside of Killua before hitting a full stop. He mouths incoherent words against Killua's pale shoulder, bucking weakly into his ass as they both fall back to the Earth.

The sole sound that echoes between them is their breathing, heavy and sober though they’re far from it. Killua feels the bed dip, his body rolling with the motion. He watches lazily as Gon throws the condom and tissues he’d most likely used to clean them up in the trash. Killua doesn’t remember being cleaned, but it’s easy to conclude that it happened rather than speculating about anything else.

Gon climbs back into bed (maybe) a minute later, coiling his arms around Killua’s torso and pulling him back into his chest. He melts into it, turning to bury his face into his skin, preferring his front be protected by the warmth. 

“Are you tired?” Gon asks. 

“No.” He answers.

“Cool.” Killua feels his hold tighten, “Me neither.”

They lay there in silence. Gon draws stars on the nape of his neck and Killua closes his eyes. He’s not tired, no, but he knows he’s able to sleep. The music they’d forgotten about plays quietly, though it sounds more like it comes from outside than in the opposite corner of the bedroom. Killua fixates on the tough collar bone poking out in his direction, screaming to be touched. When his fingertips make contact Gon shivers ever so slightly and a smile creeps up on Killua’s face. That reaction. How lovely. Anyone else probably would have missed it but right now, invisible red strings are tying them together and he feels like he can _see_ him. The string that dragged him into this bed, into these arms. He doesn’t even have the mental tools at hand to conceptualize what it all means. All he knows…

“I never want this hand to move,” He whispers, pressing down firmly. “Or this bed. Or the room.”

“Or the sun.” Gon’s voice rumbles from his chest and Killua presses his face to the vibrations.

“Or the moon.”

They stay like that, breathing out different iterations of the same, woeful wish until they fall asleep.

  
  


* * *

Killua wakes up feeling nothing like he did the night before. His first regret. 

The second is sitting up, only to realize he’s being trapped by Gon’s massive arm.

_How did he even get here?_

He runs through the events of the night, the flashes of smiles, laughter, honesty, and pleasure he never thought attainable. Images of unattainable touches and intimacy, the ghost of hands spread along his thighs and his—oh _god_. It makes him miserable, to have been so happy, happier than he’d ever been after any fucking joint, and it’s so out of touch. 

But, Gon is still here. God, _Gon_. He’d forgotten about the loose string of coincidences that made their history with each other, how he managed to end up here. It was the first time he slept in someone else’s bed without feeling slightly repulsed in the morning.

But the dream is over now. He doesn’t even want to know how Gon feels post-trip, considering that Killua feels like a sack of absolute shit. Is it even possible to be sadder than he was before all this?

Probably.

Killua glances around the room, streaks of sunlight blinding him only a little. The doorway isn’t far from Gon’s bed. Even if he does wake him up when he moves his arm, he can grab his clothes quickly and slip out before he comes to fully. He sees his clothes strewn about, memories of the intimacy they shared suddenly sneaking up on him. Killua had never been touched like that in his life, whether it be the power of the drugs or the desire that had managed to build up throughout the entire night. 

His body grew hot, though the only thing touching him was Gon’s equally nude body. His dick is pressed against Gon’s leg, pleasant friction with every move he makes. It's the only thing that could keep him from moving from this position. But he _knew_ he had to.

This was going to be hard. Fuck.

He braces himself on the mattress, wincing when it creaks underneath him. The sound seems to last forever but he still manages to slip out. His cock bobs slightly after being free, hanging heavy and dripping at the head. The sight alone makes Killua’s stomach churn. He wants to touch, relieve himself, but—

“Good morning.”

—Gon is awake. Shit.

Killua whirls around, greeted by the handsome man sat up in his bed, lean shoulders resting on the bed frame. His hands toy with his hair, flinging it every which way in an attempt to get it out of his line of vision. When it finally falls perfectly, swept over his eyes just slightly with the rest covering his ears, Killua has to remind himself to breathe. 

“Hi.” He exhales on the last beat. Gon props his leg up as if his dick isn’t hanging out for anyone to see. Then again, Killua can’t help but entertain the idea that Gon is only displaying himself this way _because_ Killua isn’t just anyone… but that’s farfetched. 

“How did you sleep?”

“It was alright,” Killua purses his lips, juts his hip out until he remembers his own exposed problem, and curls back in. “You?”

“Pretty good, considering I was with you.”

 _Ew. Oh god ew._ Though his cheeks redden, he cringes all the same.

“Right,” He sits beside Gon’s feet. Escape isn’t possible now. The two of them sit in silence. Killua swings his feet over the bed frame, aware of how closely Gon is watching him. Specifically his dick. Killua can feel holes burning into his shaft. 

“It’s morning wood,” He snaps. Gon makes a sound, feigning confusion, but Killua can see right through.

“What—”

“I know you’re looking at my dick.”

It’s Gon’s turn to blush now, averting his eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be intrusive.”

Killua half expected him to say something sleazy; something about how it was just _begging_ to be looked at, but when he hears a genuine apology instead, he isn’t sure how he’s supposed to respond.

“I…” 

“Should I leave? Let you get dressed?”

Killua has half a mind to let Gon lay him out and suck him off into bliss again, but he knows the former idea is a better one.

“You don’t have to leave,” He assures him, “we’ve already, you know, fucked.”

“Right,” Gon nods, “Did—Did that hurt, by the way? The sex?”

“Oh, oh no!” Killua exclaims holding his hands in the air, “I’m fine! You actually prepared me really well…”

He remembers Gon’s tongue curling in his ass briefly. His cock throbs. 

_Fuck, I need pants,_ he scolds himself, reaching for his boxers and turning them over. Disgust overcomes him as he observes the large soiled spot on them.

“You can borrow a pair of mine?”

Gon holds up a clean pair of his own boxers as an offering. They’re big; not much bigger than Killua’s, but still big by comparison. Enough that he could get away with wearing them as regular shorts.

“Sure,” he takes them from Gon’s outstretched hand, “thanks.”

They get dressed on opposite sides of Gon’s room. Killua tries not to lock eyes with him and focuses on the ceiling. They forgot to turn off the galaxy projector, for he can only see a pale image of the stars reflected on the wall thanks to the sun. He can still make out a few of the constellations, but his eyes hurt after a couple of seconds of trying.

He’s dressed before Gon, tousled his hair a bit before calling himself presentable and walking out of the room. Shoes, and then he’s calling an Uber. He assumes Leorio will stay.

“Killua—”

He ignores it, dead set on picking up his shoes and _leaving_. Once he reaches the door he bends to sit on the cold floor, fiddling hastily with his Converse. 

“Do you wanna get breakfast?”

Killua’s fingers stop twirling around his laces. His head flips up to look at Gon.

“Breakfast?”

“Yeah,” Gon shrugs as if he’s asking the bare minimum (which he is. Killua knows he’s just freaking out, but that’s beside the point), “I can drive.”

He remembers admiring keychains last night, dangling in front of his face for what felt like, or maybe it could have been hours. So they were Gon’s keys. Killua likes the fact that he drives. The independent air that surrounds being able to drive yourself places is something Killua finds attractive.

 _Breakfast, Killua_ . _He’s asking you to go eat._

“Where would we go?” He asks.

“Anywhere you want.”

“...You sure?”

“Uh…yes?”

Killua purses his lips. He doesn’t even know why he’s contemplating this when it’s been the one thing he’s been craving since he first laid his eyes on him.

“I’ll even pay,” He adds on, grinning wide, “please?”

Well, he can’t say no.

“Let’s go.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The drive is quiet. But, not in an uncomfortable way. Gon has been trying to talk with him during the ride and Killua did his best to keep up, but at some point, they stopped resisting the silence. And it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing after all.

The breeze that blasts into the passenger window kissed Killua’s cheeks harshly as he hung out the window. He wondered what Leorio had been up to the entire night. He probably thought that Killua dipped out as soon as it got late enough. Probably wouldn’t even care if that was okay.

Their speed lowers exponentially and Killua cranes his head to look at Gon, who’s stiff before the wheel. Cars honk around them almost automatically and Killua isn’t sure whether he should be reaching over and shaking the man. His eyes are pinned to the road with almost deadly intent as if bullets were going to start blasting out of his eyes and breaking down the windshield.

“Gon!” He shouts after a minute, waving his hands in his face.

“Oh! Oh shit,” He presses on the gas again as if nothing happened, merging back into the flow of traffic, “sorry. Shit, wow.”

“Are you okay?”

He chews on his bottom lip at that question, knuckles pale as he weaves his way into the left lane before slowing down again.

“...Don’t freak out.”

_Don’t freak out?_

“Fine,” Killua answers cautiously.

“Okay. I still feel like I’m high.” Gon says calmly, though he seems to be anything but.

“Are you kidding?”

“I’m like… _extremely_ aware of everything going on right now, though.”

Killua sits up, shutting the window slowly. “What…?”

“Like,” he takes a deep breath, doing his best to explain, “my hands and feet feel like they’re on autopilot. My brain isn’t sending any messages to the rest of my body.”

“Maybe you’re still coming down.”

“The clouds are moving too…” Gon whispers, “everything is moving but me. But I’m _still moving_ , you know?”

Killua _doesn't_ know. And frankly, he’s more concerned about whether Gon should be behind the wheel right now or not. The car hadn’t swerved and Killua hadn’t even considered the fact that Gon was unable to operate a vehicle the entire time. So he supposes he’ll just pray they make it to the nearest diner in one piece.

“Yeah,” He frowns, “let me know if you need to switch. Just get us there in one piece, yeah?”

“Of course Kil.”

He shudders at the nickname just like he did last night. Hearing it sober is worse in comparison. 

It doesn’t take them much longer to get there, and Killua thanks the heavens for it. Gon pulls into the parking lot and they sigh collectively, relaxing into their seats. 

“What do you want?” Gon asks, unbuckling his seatbelt, “I can go in and order, and then we can go.”

“We’re not gonna sit down inside?” Killua responds, confused. Gon’s eyes widen and he retracts.

“Oh, shit I just…I thought that we could go back to the apartment…”

Killua’s cheeks tint. He hadn’t considered going back to the apartment. The thought of it makes him a bit easy, considering the awkward air that’s followed them everywhere they go. Killua can’t explain it. There’s just something about going there, being back in Gon’s room where it all happened. There’s something in him that’s screaming at him to leave the space untouched.

“Or we could stay here, in the car? You know, if it’s crowded.” Gon notes Killua discomfort. He just nods, thankful for the opportunity to end it.

“Thanks,” He says. “You can uh, get me any breakfast combo. I’ll eat anything.”

Killua twiddles with his fingers and assumes that Gon is nodding. The car door unlocks loudly and Killua expects Gon to disappear shortly after, but there’s an uncomfortable pause.

“Can I kiss you?”

Killua does a double-take, turns, and glances Gon up and down while processing the words that just left his lips.

“Did you just ask me if you could…?”

“Well, I didn’t just want to kiss you and confuse you!” He exclaims, “I thought, you know, because—”

“You—you can kiss me,” Killua doesn’t even want to think thrice about it. All his anxiety had washed away like magic at the inquiry. Just wants Gon to kiss him again.

“Okay!” Gon leans over the cupholders in between their seats, reaching behind Killua’s hood and tugging him into a quick peck. They sat still for a beat, and before Killua’s eyes could open he did it again.

“I’ll be right back,” He makes his exit, shutting the car door quickly before locking KIllua inside. _Holy shit._ Gon’s back disappears into the diner and the moment Killua can’t see him anymore he faces forward, staring at his hands. He needs to get his shit together. He’s experiencing a whirlwind of emotions that are impossible to comprehend presently. Maybe he’s still high too. All his feelings are being filtered into mental rows; anxiety, sadness, elation, even _arousal_ still. Killua isn’t sure what to make of these feelings to begin with. He's never felt them so frequently before. But to have one man drive him up a wall and tear apart his floodgates in one go? In one _night?_ What the fuck is he supposed to make of it?

The door to the diner dings in the distance and Killua looks up, alarmed to see Gon _already returning_. Killua glances about the vehicle frantically. How long had he been sitting there marinating in his thoughts? How could he already be coming back?

But the door opens regardless of Killua’s quiet plea to the heavens, and when Gon sits, he blurts out the one thing he’s thinking about to end the turmoil within him.

“You kissed me.”

Gon stretches back to place their food on the back seat, unphased per usual.

“I did, yeah…” 

“ _Why?_ Why are you kissing me?”

“Because…” Gon’s brow furrows, “because I wanted to?”

“But it was just that… what we did was—”

“Something I _wanted_ to do, Killua,” Gon says with utmost honesty that makes Killua’s skin crawl, “why else would I do something like that?”

“We were on _molly_ . They call it the _love drug_ for fuck’s sake I—I just didn’t think it was something that we would ever do again. I thought it was something that was driven by drugs.” 

Gon sits with this for a moment, lips pursed. Killua fears what he’s pondering over. He knows he’s pushing him away, but a small part of him begs him to push back. Even a little.

“Can I tell you the truth?” Gon speaks up after a couple of minutes, though it was 

“Well, I’d hope you’d tell me.”

His fingertip traces the checkerboard pattern of the steering wheel, “I don’t really… care about whether I was on molly or not. I enjoyed it. I remember it. Did you?”

“I—” Killua goes red, “yes, I did. I know. I did. I remembered it, and I liked it. Yes.”

 _That was embarrassing_.

“Well, if it’s okay with you, I wanna see you again.”

Killua wants to push back, so badly. But he can’t. He’s gazed into the eyes of so many but none of them have ever returned it the way Gon does. The soft smile on his face is warm and inviting, the relief of having their dirty laundry in the air written all over it. They’re scrunched in the front of his small Honda Accord but it doesn’t make the moment any less special. Killua doesn’t want to run. Not a single part of him.

“No molly, right?”

Gon grins, holding his hands out and beckoning him forward for what he can only assume is another kiss.

“No molly.” 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


They ate their breakfast in the car, ravished by the hunger they tested for too long. Killua enjoys himself, the taste of bland diner waffles so much richer when paired with the man curled beside him in the backseat. The atmosphere they’d created somewhat resembled the state they were in the night before. Words flowed without a second thought and Killua was only met with enthusiastic responses and laughter. And kisses. A new addition that he hopes he’ll never tire of.

Gon drives them home after offering to trash their food outside once they finish (Killua had insisted on helping but he didn’t realize what a stubborn man he was going to be dealing with). Killua continues to talk to him, but the other half of his brain is hung up on the strong hand that made a home on his thigh before they left. The sun glistened outside, the roads slowly filled, but time stood still between the two of them.

Perhaps Killua was wrong about it all. His entire approach to how he should live. Striving for happiness was something that seemed a lot more attainable right now. It wasn’t a full turnover, sure, but he could try. And for once, maybe he wouldn’t be alone if he could lean on Gon for support.

Though, it wasn’t just Gon. Gon broke the floodgates, sure, but some people would certainly be there for him too. He just wasn’t within their reach. His own doing.

But he was going to fix it. 

When they pulled up to the apartment, Kurapika and Leorio were already sitting on the complex steps in deep conversation. Killua doesn’t even think they’ve noticed Gon’s car pulling into the lot. Gon sighs beside him, his eyes trained on the two of them as he turns the car off.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye.”

“Oh,” Killua’s gut sinks, almost forgetting the inevitable, “of course.”

“Don’t fret,” Gon’s hand nudges his face, the heel of his palm digging into his cheek. Killua tilts his chin, wishing he could bring them closer. “We’ll see each other soon.”

“How soon?”

“I can take you on a real date?” Gon offers, squaring his shoulders. He faced Killua fully now. 

“I dunno,” He gives an honest answer, lest he hurt Gon’s feelings in a future where he backtracks from the commitment, “it feels fast. I’m sorry. I don’t think I’m ready for that yet”

“It’s okay. It’s whatever you want.”

Killua doesn’t expect this answer. He reaches up to clutch onto the hand pressed to his hot skin.

“Really?”

“Yeah, Killua.”

He’s searching in Gon’s eyes looking for any hint of rejection, or hurt, or even anger, but it isn’t there. All he’s been given is an affirmation in the words that were just spoken.

“A movie then? We can keep it lowkey. I have weed, so we can smoke.” He says.

“I thought we weren’t doing drugs.”

“ _Molly_. Weed doesn’t count.” Killua rolls his eyes at that, though Gon giggles. “Now that I know the difference between the two, I can confirm that they are entirely different.”

“Well I’m good with that,” Gon agrees, “I’ll reach out.”

“Don’t make me wait too long,” Killua says, to his own surprise. It’s flirty and submissive the way it comes out of his mouth and he doesn’t like it, but the way Gon gazes down at him makes him immediately reconsider it.

“I won’t.” He says—no, _promises_ , before meeting Killua’s lips for a wet kiss. Gon’s tongue slips into his mouth with hungrily and strings of tingles make their way up Killua’s legs. Arms reach up and over broad shoulders, to the point where he’s basically crawling into his lap. Gon huffs into his mouth—a weak attempt at catching his breath—and Killua grips his thigh before brushing his knuckles against the chub forming in his shorts.

He draws back.

“Good.”

The car door shuts and Gon blows him a smug kiss from the window, hand resting on his crotch.

  
  
  


* * *

Killua and Leorio are silent during the car ride. It’s nothing like driving with Gon this morning.

“So…” Leorio starts it off, “what happened to you?”

“What happened to _you?_ ” Killua points at his torn shirt. Leorio’s eyes widened quickly before falling to the front of the car again.

“I…couldn’t explain it to you.”

Killua nods.

“Me neither.”

Silence resumes. Killua feels like he’s suffocating. 

“Was it a good thing, at least?” He asks.

“Oh yeah, _hell_ yeah,” Leroio nods his head. Though he can’t look at Killua, there’s a smile on his face. “You?”

Killua presses his head to the car window as his friend merges back onto the highway.

“Yeah. It was a good thing.”

**Author's Note:**

> hi! thank you for the read :) i hope you enjoyed it! follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/slowlange) for more! looking to take drabble requests soon so i'd love to hear from you guys <3


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